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| "... people disappoint you, i get that .. but what if you woke up one morning and you were the disappointment? ..."
im a terrible money saver,
i have realized that i spend way too much money in a week and what's worse is i have no idea what i spend it on .. it just vanishes just like that!
well i have made the decision that i am going try and save money from now till my trip to melbourne .. which means say bye to social life, cos i am going to be working on weekends now too :)
two more weeks till freedom :)
life sucks, when everyone else is on holidays, except you ...
but im making it a goal to make the most of this next two weeks of educational fun :)
i <3 what im studying ... i think i found out what i wanna do in life, & yeah, this is it..
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| "... just answer this, are you really over us?"
"... i have to be..."
there is this chaos in my head, i cant really explain it ... it just woooshes and boooms in there .. i have thoughts racing a million miles a minute, racing to find answers .. answers that i very well cannot obtain .. so instead, i drive myself to the point of insanity .. i am insecure, i am confused, i am lost, i am just ... answerless ..
"here i go again.."
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| "... my favourite stories are my stories with you .. and my favourite memories are the memories with you .."
screw assessments, im in party mode...
the unthinkable finally happened, i told mr.big to never call, msg or email me again ... friends with exes just never work, i dont know how people do it ..... it just shouldn't mix ... i still think about him a lot, but what else is new .. i feel like there was so much potential there, given if he actually gave it the proper chance .. but one thing, i have learned there is a time to just give up, there is only so much pain a girl can go through before she finally realizes, fuck it! he will never change, what pains me is that i know he really wanted to remain friends, but i cant give him that .. i thought i could, but i cant .... there is something about those 'friendly' drives to the beach and occasional 'friendly' movie sessions that will eventually lead to emotional attachment (on my behalf) ... and that will just make things harder for me on letting go ...
anywhooos, PARTY ALL THE TIME :)
some would believe i've substituted my unrequited love to hardcore partying but you know what?! i love it :) im just glad that my friends are there to pick me up and cheer me up :) without them, i dont know where i'll be .... watching them go through problems in their relationships, makes me realize why i shouldve stayed single in the first place ... in the end guys are all dicks (majority of them are anyways) .. relationships do bring out the worst from people ... and i guess it is that worst side of me, that i never wanna experience again ... graaaaaaaaah .. anti- everything mode but blherrrrrrr ...
cant wait for the weekend :)
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| ".. do you really think there is only one mate .."
".. as a matter of fact, i do .."
".. well then how can you be certain to find them? and if you do find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? and what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or, she does, but you're too distracted to notice? .."
".. you learn to pay attention .."
".. then let's say god puts two people on earth and they are lucky enough to find one another .. but one of them gets hit by lightning .. well then what? is that it? or, perchance you meet someone new and marry all over again .. is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? .. and if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or, was the second one supposed to be first? .. and is everything just chance or are some things meant to be? .."
".. you cannot leave everything to fate boy, she's got a lot to do .. sometimes you must give her a hand .."
- Ever After | | |
| ".. my dad always told me, flowers means 'im sorry' and chocolates mean 'i love you' .... "
49 kgs babyy ! one more and i am down to my perfect weight yeeeeeehawww !!!
on another note: feeling shattered over mr big, i just dont understand how he could do this to me ?!
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